Phases

Description

It was early December, 2025. I was 9 weeks pregnant, and so thrilled to visit my grandparents who live across the country from me. My mother passed away a few years earlier, and finding out about my pregnancy reignited the grief of missing my mom. It was a new moment of wishing for her guidance and wishing I could call. While visiting my Grandmother, I observed how she shared in my joy of this baby boy, and also grieved with me for her daughter (my mom). This was life changing for me in ways I didnt realize at the time. In that moment, my grandmother showed me that we have the capacity to hold both grief and joy at one time. Now that I’m grieving the loss of my baby, I can continue this practice by holding both the grief of missing them and the joy of loving the people that are still here with me. This painting is of a lake by my Grandmother’s home to commemorate these lessons.

I hope this piece can be a reminder to you in your own struggles that you ahve the capacity for so much love amidst your sorrow. So much joy amidst your grief.

Symbolism: The shape of this painting is meant to show that we can find our center even amidst the waves of life. We expand to meet the bends and turns. I love the moon in this piece because we, too look different in all of our phases. It splits the painting down the center, showing how we can hold space for multiple feelings. The moon is also often a feminine symbol of transformation, softness, and rebirth. For me in this miscarriage, i love the idea that my pain can be transformed into healing, my grief into love for the moments i do get with the people i love. Its not that the grief or the anger or the sadness leaves, but that i’m willing to face both the grief and the joy bravely.